Another week. Another list of complaints.
I got an early start this time as to not forget what I wanted to say. On Wednesday, I wrote "In Arizona, cops are allowed to ask for your papers depending on what you look like. After seeing the mugshot of the guy who did the shooting on Saturday, you'd think someone would have asked for HIS PAPERS!!!" On Friday, I was watching Real Time w/ Bill Maher, and I'll be damned if he didn't say the exact same joke. Now my question is: Why don't I have a job on the writing staff of Real Time w/ Bill Maher??? I can come up with that stuff.
Anyone else glad that the bum with the great radio voice has gone away? If there's no way you can profit from something, why is it necessary? Which is why Oprah didn't interview him. She left that for Dr. Phil.
I had to do groom check this dual meet. To check the kids nails, I grab their hands to see if their nails are too long. This kid just forgot to tell me that on both his hands his middle and ring fingers were fused together into one mass of a finger. I don't think it was good for his self esteem when I started dry heaving when I grabbed his nails. I bet he's really popular with the ladies at his school though.
Whoever got gum on my jacket that I just got back from the dry cleaners, FUCK YOU!!!
Jennifer Hudson needs so put some weight back on. What happens when big people lose to much weight to fast, such as Hudson, they develop what I like to call a neck vagina. The center of their throat sinks in and the skin from the side of their neck makes these flaps, or lips, whatever you like. It's never good, and it cant go away by going to the gym. Neck Vagina. Its going to be in medical journals pretty soon. Set a Google alert for it.
This just in...Nickelback STILL SUCKS!!!
So many douchebags go to Fahrenheit every week. I CAN'T STAND DOUCHEBAGS!!! To me the douchebag is one of the lowest forms of humanity. Douchebags are right up there with Nazis and Republicans. This guy who keeps coming to the club has a foot long faux hawk, wears a vest with a wife beater, and gropes every chick in the place. I've kicked him out so many times, and he's still allowed back in cuz he drops like $500 a night. He'd be better off dropping that on hookers. At least he wouldn't be bothering me. Douche!
Daydreaming is dangerous. If you're not paying attention, you will walk face first in a sliding glass door and smash you're balls on a chair. Trust me.
Sarah Palin said that she used the term "blood libel" in that ridiculous response video she made even though "No one told her what it meant." You know she gets a lot of shit for being stupid, but I feel bad for her sometimes. I mean her baby is smarter than her. You need to feel some sympathy for that. That's wrong on so many levels, I know.
But seriously, I saw pretty much the worst thing I've ever seen Sunday night. I was driving home when this frantic guy waved me down asking for my help. I see that he had swerved off the street and his car was smashed into a wall. I then see a guy on the hood who had apparently been hit by this guy who drove off the road. He was wearing really old, dirty clothes. He was obviously homeless. I parked my car and ran over to the guy on the hood. I asked, "Are you ok!" With a very raspy whisper, all he could get out was "Help me. Help me." I looked at him for a second then said, "I'm sorry but you don't have a great radio voice," then I got back in my car and drove away. What a waste of my time.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell after that. Aw well.
Just like last week, I'd really appreciate some feedback. Let me know what you think people. If you took your time to read it, I'll take my time to read your critique.
I got an early start this time as to not forget what I wanted to say. On Wednesday, I wrote "In Arizona, cops are allowed to ask for your papers depending on what you look like. After seeing the mugshot of the guy who did the shooting on Saturday, you'd think someone would have asked for HIS PAPERS!!!" On Friday, I was watching Real Time w/ Bill Maher, and I'll be damned if he didn't say the exact same joke. Now my question is: Why don't I have a job on the writing staff of Real Time w/ Bill Maher??? I can come up with that stuff.
Anyone else glad that the bum with the great radio voice has gone away? If there's no way you can profit from something, why is it necessary? Which is why Oprah didn't interview him. She left that for Dr. Phil.
I had to do groom check this dual meet. To check the kids nails, I grab their hands to see if their nails are too long. This kid just forgot to tell me that on both his hands his middle and ring fingers were fused together into one mass of a finger. I don't think it was good for his self esteem when I started dry heaving when I grabbed his nails. I bet he's really popular with the ladies at his school though.
Whoever got gum on my jacket that I just got back from the dry cleaners, FUCK YOU!!!
Jennifer Hudson needs so put some weight back on. What happens when big people lose to much weight to fast, such as Hudson, they develop what I like to call a neck vagina. The center of their throat sinks in and the skin from the side of their neck makes these flaps, or lips, whatever you like. It's never good, and it cant go away by going to the gym. Neck Vagina. Its going to be in medical journals pretty soon. Set a Google alert for it.
This just in...Nickelback STILL SUCKS!!!
So many douchebags go to Fahrenheit every week. I CAN'T STAND DOUCHEBAGS!!! To me the douchebag is one of the lowest forms of humanity. Douchebags are right up there with Nazis and Republicans. This guy who keeps coming to the club has a foot long faux hawk, wears a vest with a wife beater, and gropes every chick in the place. I've kicked him out so many times, and he's still allowed back in cuz he drops like $500 a night. He'd be better off dropping that on hookers. At least he wouldn't be bothering me. Douche!
Daydreaming is dangerous. If you're not paying attention, you will walk face first in a sliding glass door and smash you're balls on a chair. Trust me.
Sarah Palin said that she used the term "blood libel" in that ridiculous response video she made even though "No one told her what it meant." You know she gets a lot of shit for being stupid, but I feel bad for her sometimes. I mean her baby is smarter than her. You need to feel some sympathy for that. That's wrong on so many levels, I know.
But seriously, I saw pretty much the worst thing I've ever seen Sunday night. I was driving home when this frantic guy waved me down asking for my help. I see that he had swerved off the street and his car was smashed into a wall. I then see a guy on the hood who had apparently been hit by this guy who drove off the road. He was wearing really old, dirty clothes. He was obviously homeless. I parked my car and ran over to the guy on the hood. I asked, "Are you ok!" With a very raspy whisper, all he could get out was "Help me. Help me." I looked at him for a second then said, "I'm sorry but you don't have a great radio voice," then I got back in my car and drove away. What a waste of my time.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell after that. Aw well.
Just like last week, I'd really appreciate some feedback. Let me know what you think people. If you took your time to read it, I'll take my time to read your critique.
Love the faux hawk comment, that guy is super douchey. Neck Vagina = winner and i love bill maher for the most part. He goes after everyone regardless of who they are. Good job tony! What about the douche that was dancing on tables at Fahrenheit's anniversary party? lol
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