My Complaints 2/2/11

I am someone who tries to not let anything bother me. I have a different way of living my life. I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but it's called Hakuna Matata. Its a problem free philosophy if you will. Not a lot of things get on my nerves.


However...


People who walk on escalators drives me crazy. Not people who walk the wrong way, like up the down and down the up escalator, because people normally stop that when they're like 12. But people who walk up the up and down the down. Are you kidding me??? Your time is so precious that you can't take a 10 second ride. Give me a break.


People who dress their pets in clothes are totally annoying. Dogs and cats should never be dressed. The only animal besides humans that should wear clothes: Chimpanzees. What they should wear: Tuxedos. Why? #1 A chimp in a tuxedo is as awesome as it gets. #2 They're called monkey suits for a reason.


I learned something on Monday night. When old men drink too much and try to steal jackets, they instantly learn how to fly. Its an amazing sight, I must tell you.


With all the club closures in downtown San Jose recently, my club has been getting a lot of business. I got in a fight at my work. A giant ginger was getting outta line and wouldn't leave, so it was his time. It was really no big deal. All I did was grab this guy by the neck with one hand, flipped up my pinky finger, and with a big "skadoosh," the fucking guy EXPLODED!!! It was awesome, but my dry cleaning bill is redonkulous now.


Punxsutawney Phil predicted there was going to be an early spring today. I guess Al Gore got to him.


Jim Harbaugh is "keeping his options open" when it comes to Alex Smith. I swear to god, if Alex Smith gets re-signed, then Harbaugh would have wished he took his talents down to South Beach. The Niners will suck something fierce again, and worse than that, I will hate Jim Harbaugh forever(until the next year when they draft Andrew Luck)


Everything that's going on in Egypt right now is crazy. All the riots, all the unrest. People are finally standing up for their rights somewhere in the world. It would be impossible to make any kind of joke about that...EXCEPT...Sarah Palin says she likes the fact that the internet has been shut off by the Egyptian Govt. because that way SHE can't be blamed for the riots. How can she be blamed? Did she make a map of the Pyramids and put crosshairs all over it?


First week on Blogger complete. I might try to get two of these a week if I can. Let's see how international we can make this one.