You would think that getting a new job, partying it up this weekend and getting two checks last week that I would have nothing to complain about...
YOU'D BE WRONG!!!!
I felt really sick this weekend when I went to the Nike Outlet store. Of course, there's no bathroom in that store but there was one in the Panda Express next door. Then I came to this realization. You should feel like having diarrhea after you leave Panda Express, not have diarrhea while walking into Panda Express. That's never good. Ever.
My senses are definitely affected after I drink. I pretty much go blind, all sounds become fuzzy, I can't really smell or taste anything but everything FEELS AMAZING!!!
There is a serious problem with our education system, if you weren't aware. If you listen to KOHL you will know that already. Some chick on there was reading the Box Office results and said that Rango debuted at number 1. The problem is she read it like this: Rango debut-ted at number 1. What a retard. Oh wait, there is a mentally challenged guy on KOHL named Hammerin' Hank. I should be more sensitive.
I love the Huffington Post. I especially love their headlines. They make the stories very intriguing. For example, a common headline on there is "Jessica Biel in a teeny bikini", brilliant journalism. My favorite headline from HuffPost this week: "Ke$ha has 10,000 condoms?" The question mark was there in the headline already. I thought I was supposed to have the questions.
I got a new app for my iPhone that shows all the sex offenders in the area. I swear one looks like the old guy from Up. I really hope no boy scouts go to his house. He may try floating them away. He probably has hella balloons in house, but their full of Nitrous Oxide.
Mardi Gras was last night. I've never been a part of San Jose Mardi Gras before. I was an interesting experience to say the least. Definitely saw some boobies. Not exactly boobies I would have seeked out on my own though, but anytime you get a chance to see some random public boobies, you're going to look.
Alex and I went to the closing Borders. Why do they need closing signs on every single window and every single display? We get it, the store is closing. The people working there for a while longer don't need 500 visual reminders that they're losing their jobs. That will make them bitter assholes...wait a second...they were already bitter assholes before the store was closing. Fuck 'em then.
I was asked to complain about Kim Kardashian's new song. I believe I have already, but that was before I actually heard the song. I knew I was going to have a war my radio to get through the whole thing. These are the actual lyrics:Turn me up, turn me up, turn me turn me turn me up, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, turn me up, turn me up, turn me turn me turn me up, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah. That war was over. I had to shoot myself in the foot to get out of it. I'd rather walk with a limp for the rest of my life than hear anymore.
Once again, if there is anything you'd like me to complain about let me know. Please share this if you like it. Also, please check my archive and share those too. You will get definite compliments from me instead of complaints.
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