My Complaints 3/2/11

Another week...

There are true signs of the times everywhere. You just have to keep your eyes open. I saw pretty much the most ironic thing I think I've ever seen the other day. I saw a brand spankin' new BMW with a Pizza Guys pizza delivery sign on the roof. Now I wonder what the people who get pizza delivered to them look out the door and see that.

There is this guy in Downtown San Jose who basically drives a monster truck. It's lifted about 10' off the ground and it's as tall as the street lights. Ok, we get that you're a douchebag,  but we probably would have realized that when we meet you. You shouldn't advertise like that. No sane human being needs a vehicle that needs a retractable stair case to come down so you can get into it.

There have been a lot of midgets "little people" coming to the club recently. There's this one who rides a rascal scooter and her slightly taller midget "little person" friend rides on the back. The one with the rascal scooter was on True Life: I'm a Midget Little Person, so she thinks she's hot shit. Doing donuts on a dance floor is not appropriate at ANYTIME LADY!!! Especially when you you have a little friend attached to the back of your scooter terrified that you're doing fucking donuts while she's hanging on for dear life!!! She looked like a Wienerschnitzel antenna icon with her legs sticking straight out.

They are selling an old person's walker as a piece of fitness equipment. They call it THE RACK and they have people doing curls but they're just lifting the thing off the ground. You could probably get a free one from a nursing home if you want, but you'll have to wrestle someone's gramdpa for it.

Kim Kardashian's single has just been released. FUCK MY LIFE!!!

Charlie Sheen has officially lost his mind!!! He wants an extra million dollars an episode? Doesn't he know that "Two and a Half Men" sucks. They'll probably give it to him though. For all the drug dealers who obvoiusly read this every week, how much cocaine can you get for an extra $1,000,000 a week?

My sister's students are ridiculous. Some kid said to her, " I hate Mondays. Mondays are the armpit of the week." I can't wait for this kid to learn how to write. WHen he learns how to write, he'll then learn how to type. Then when he learns how to type, he'll write a blog and I want to read his blog. I know it's gonna be awesome.

Someone paid $40,000 for Justin Bieber's hair. What a waste of money. He's not even blonde.

I saw this smoking hot chick that works at Target. The problem is she works as a uniformed security guard. She is in no way intimidating to anyone...what am I talking about? Hot chicks are way intimidating. Good job Target!

I should be a teacher. According to Fox News,  they make between $75-$100,000 a year until they die. That's a sweet gig if you ask me.

In order not to swear around the babies, we sometimes spell swear words instead of saying them. That works until you spell out A-S-S-W-H-O-L-E. Good job Dad.

Alex wants me to put things in here that I put on my Facebook. I will put in one per week. Here's one from this past week: Ralph Macchio on Dancing with the Stars??? Doesn't he know that the crane technique is banned in all Ballroom Dance contests???

If anyone has anything they want me to complain about, let me know. Comment here or let me know on Facebook.