Wednesday, March 30, 2011

My Complaints 3/30/11

Another week has past. Here's whats bothering me:

Law and Order: SVU isn't even trying anymore. I like how the undercover names they use are their actual character names. All the story-lines are ridiculous. Everyone is totally over acting. It's barely watchable anymore. I'm not sure when they gave up, but it is really depressing. it is as depressing as this past week's guest star Rose McGowen's face looks. Damn!!

They're having Shake Weight commercials on UFC broadcasts now. That would be OK if they weren't MALE Shake Weight commercials. What advertising salesperson thinks to themselves, "UFC fans are obviously super gay and they would enjoy these commercials between rounds. They're already watching sweaty dudes wrestle each other, so this is the perfect demographic for the gayest piece of exercise equipment ever invented." Not a good job done there.

How can anyone have a birthday party for their dogs?? Really?? If you had a birthday party for your cats, people would think you were crazy. How is a dog birthday party not as crazy??

I've been sick all week. It has been pretty bad, to say the least. I've been coughing a lot and had a horrible sore throat. There are two ways to deal with sick people: Help them out or be a little bitch and complain that they are around. There are two consequences to dealing with sick people these ways: You get sick yourself or you don't. Alex is sick now and my parents aren't. How do you think they treated me?

I was driving home yesterday listening to The Ricky Gervais Show, and I started laughing. I was at a red light, still laughing, when I made awkward eye contact with his very sad looking homeless guy. He probably thought I was laughing at him. He still didn't get any money though.

Alex was going through the closet, when he saw a spider on one of his shoes. He took this opportunity to unleash this blood curdling scream. I'm pretty sure it was the sound that his body naturally made let the world know about his brand new vagina. I guess I have three sisters now, and I'm Ok with that.

Even though I just started a new job, I am still actively looking for a better job. I check craigslist just about everyday. I am very weary about job postings that have spelling errors in them. Every job lists computer literacy as a necessary skill. I am assuming full computer literacy may not be necessary, but at least be computer literate enough to know the squiggly red line under a word means the word is misspelled. Just saying.

When you pay for groceries at the self check out register, it automatically prints out a random coupon for you for the next time you go shopping. I had always assumed these were random, but twice the coupon printer has printed out a coupon for Rogaine for me. FUCK YOU SELF CHECKOUT COUPON PRINTER!!!!

As it stands right now, I've got about 30 pages of writing in almost three months of doing this. I'm writing a book for sure. Just giving everyone a heads up.

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